Fan mails

Dear tragedy,

Are there any decent guy on the internet? Whenever I go to chat room all the guys are mostly interested in getting me naked or them showing their penises.

Desperate Chatter


Dear Desperate Chatter,

I am sorry to burst your bubble, there is no decent guy on the internet. If you want to meet a decent guy, you have to hunt him down just like every single woman. Go out of your room and find him.

Tragedy

I enjoy sleeping. That's mostly what I do when I don't go to work. I stayed in my room napping every time I feel like it.

I had a dream last night. I guess my fascination with serial killer aggreviated by watching too much X-files episodes, I dreamt I was a pedophile. I was molesting a kid in my dream. And the shocking part was, I was enjoying it. And then, I woke up.

And I forgot about it. Until around 4pm when I'm on my way to the bank.

I remember tasting something sweet on my mouth at the same time wanting to puke it from my memory.

Wonderment

I woke up today with an after-taste of my last night dream. I opened my blogspot with the question, "How could a blogspot with a title FOUND not be found?"

Pause.

Pause.

Laugh.

Yeah, it is funny. I guess the joke was really on me.

Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros

I have been itching to see this movie and it was only after a friend lends me her copy of the film that I was able to enjoy a true Filipino movie.

What I always adore about indie films is that it has the air of indifference. The writer and the director seemed to be telling you, “This is how I want it to be shown so watch it. I don’t care if you like it or not.” Although I am not saying that indies are better than the multi-million budget movies but stories like Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros should be filmed exactly the way Aureaus Solito did.

The profoundness of the message of the film was overwhelming and although it was a 2.3 hours running time, it seemed too short. The movie evolved with Maxi a pre-teen gay who had a crushed with the new policeman. With his father and brothers being scumbags, it was really a bad news for Maxi. There is murder, fashion show, dirty streets of Tondo and death of a relative. The ending was under the pretext of a happy one if not hopeful.

Although at the beginning, I thought the story would evolve on discrimination about being gay but instead it was surprising how the plot made Maxi’s sexual preference as if it was a natural thing. It does not mock or belittle Maxi’s feelings as a teen but rather even his brothers endorsed it with respect.

It’s a break through for Philippine movie scene. I always believe that we are way far left behind in the science fiction against holiwood but our society is full of enormous potential in terms of movie telling. And there is much more to tell about the Philippines other than prostitutions. And “Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros” is one of the best examples indie film makers or multi-million film industries should focus on.

talking in my sleep

Summer started without me....

As i was saying. Summer did started without me. I was sidetracked back when the weather was still cool and the sun refuses to come out unless necessary. I didn't realize how long I stayed in the past until a wonderful morning, I woke up feeling very sticky with perspiration and the sun is blaring in my shut eyes. The confusion of under estimating how time could pass you by fast was the first thoughts in my mind before I finally opened my eyes and hid under my pillow.

"December couldn't have gone by, can it?" I asked myself.
"It is April, whether you like it or not." Myself answered.
"But how could it pass me by without me knowing?" I asked again.
Myself sighs.
"Because you refuse to face to future. Even the present."
"So thats why it always feel like I'm constantly catching up. That is why I am having difficulty dealing with problems I recently encountering."
"Yes. You're stuck in the past." Myself said.

And I went back to sleep in hope that the conversation I just had doesn't mean I need to go to mental hospital.

Its been awhile

The secrecy of my absence this past few months while remain in the oblivious past and remain hidden without further stimulation. But I have missed writing too much my fingertips brought me back to my own blogspots with much irony with the knowledge that my title was Found.

I have read my own writing and I realized how difficult it is to find my own thoughts inside those hideously long articles that kept going and going with no apparent intention of stopping. But as I have said, the past has claimed our history and none we could do to change any of it. Although, that is just figuratively speaking knowing that there are buttons and keys that says DELETE but we will pretend to have no knowledge on it to keep the idyllic ignorance and helplessness.

And so to keep my personal vendetta to keep my article short and pretend that I am cute, I will end this with no real point and kept hopefully those who read or just myself wondering if I will return to claim my own territory of thoughts that will forever printed in this wide imaginary world of web.